Still settling in

So I've moved most of my belongings to my new apartment. I am slowly settling in. It's nice to have the time to settle in. I am picking up bookshelves tonight to bring over to my apartment. I hope that they will be sturdy but not too heavy. I need a lot more bookshelves, so I am picking up two of them tonight.

I will be really happy when I'm all through with unpacking and I'm over at my new place. It's really hard being in two places at the same time, mostly on an emotional level. I hate facing the fact that I'm leaving Juliane's. It makes me sad. I know she'll only be a twenty minute drive or a phone call away, but still it makes me sad that she won't just be around to chat/hang out with. I'll miss living with her.

I know that I need to focus on the fall. I have to start prepping my materials for TAing. I really ought to give everything a read through before September. I also need to do more research and focus my project. I'll have to research more and see what's out there and pick a few select topics, maybe tying health care into IP law somehow. We'll see.

#14 - Jim Rice

I was pretty excited today to be one of the many fans that were present to see baseball legend Jim Rice's number be retired at Fenway Park today. #14 will no longer be available for wear, as it will always be up on the high, right field ledge along with a handful of other famous Red Sox numbers.

It was great to be there to witness a man who spent his entire career with one team. It was even better knowing that this man was so extremely talented, powerful, and a fierce competitor to boot - all without the use of performance enhancing drugs.

I remember watching Jim Rice play in the 80's. I used to watch the games with my Memere, my grandmother. She loved the Sox and watched every single game. She enjoyed watching Jim Rice play and I enjoyed watching him play, with her. I wouldn't quite understand the depth of his talent until later in my life.

Jim Rice, along with other Red Sox greats like Wade Boggs and Dennis Eckersley were inspiration for my baseball-playing years. I always wished that I had a woman to model myself after, on the field; what I didn't know is that I had excellent role models for my game, unlike the children of today. I played baseball through my sophomore year of high school. I was the only girl on the team (or in the league) for the last two years that I played. I held my own most of the time, especially with hitting.

I am grateful for players like Jim Rice who served as a beacon of true talent. I wish that today's players would take a lesson from him. Congrats Jim - you deserve it!

Proper Manners

When did society become infused with selfishness and people who either don't know or don't care to abide by proper manners and social niceties? For instance, when did it become acceptable for people to suggest more of a guest list, when the invite said that it's going to be a "smaller celebration" and that the event is "invite only"? It really just never ceases to amaze me that some people are so socially inept as to consider it ok to approach the host/planner and insist that more people be invited.

I am thinking the best way to deal with these requests is to ignore them or tell these people that I'm sorry they seem dissapointed and leave it at that. I would like to just disinvite these pesky people as well. It would be akin to a "no contest" clause in a will. If you contest the will, whatever was willed to you is deemed voided. Thus, if you ask for another guest to be invited, in this case, your own invitation will be rescinded. I think turnabout is fair play!

Don't these intruders of good manners understand that perhaps you aren't at liberty to say why a certain person isn't invited. Or, perhaps, you just don't care to share the reason why that person isn't invited. There is usually GOOD reason if someone doesn't make it on an invite list.

Furthermore, in this particular case, I wish that these ill mannered invitees would realize that not everyone likes their friends and sometimes those disliked friends aren't invited. Not everyone has to be friends or ought to be friends.

It seems that society is advocating for a change in social rules; it seems that you have to be nice to everyone and not hurt anyone's feelings. I advocate for propriety and cordial manner when it's necessary, but some people would be better persons if there was a hurt feeling or two...or if there were public shaming by friends...or if there were intolerance of ridiculous, selfish behaviors. Let's not all be walked over by those who are selfish and improper - stand up and demand respect people!

Ok...end of rant.

Looking Forward

I have finally found a better path for my life. This past year I spent most of it unemployed and depressed over a non-existant job market. Being someone who can't just take it lying down, I decided to apply for another graduate school program. Apparently, law school was not the end all, be all I thought it would be....well, at least not what followed law school.

This past spring I was accepted to many programs (BU, Columbia, UNC Chapel Hill, and Yale) at schools of public health. I spent the spring months visiting each school, trying to decide which one would be best for me. UNC and BU were the front runners for my interests and career goals; surprisingly, despite the fact that I've been waiting my whole life to attend an ivy league school, Yale seemed very focused on areas that I am not and I just really found Columbia to be off-putting. Eventually, BU offered me a fellowship for the first year, which made it easy to say yes to them. Unfortunately, UNC wasn't able to match the funding because their budget hadn't come through. In the end, I'm very excited to be at BU in the fall.

This is the first ray of hope (career wise) that this are looking up and that my life is moving forward. I start in September and I will be researching the MA health care system, TAing classes, helping out with departmental research and activities, along with completing my regular course work. I could not be more excited!

I'll be moving into Boston, right near school. This is also a neat opportunity. I will miss living with Juliane, though. She has been kinder than I could ever ask for over these past few years. I feel that we've grown a lot closer in our friendship, too. I hope that one day I will be able to repay her, though that seems impossible. How do you pay back someone who has given you the space and time to put your life back together?

Also, Kevin and I are still going strong. He has been such an amazing support over these past two years. He has seen me through my ups and many, many downs especially this past year. I would get so frustrated with the lack of jobs and lack of opportunities and he would always give me hope and strength to carry on. He taught me to hope against hope and to know that together, we will be ok. His stregth, love and generosity has carried me through some of the toughest times of my life. I could not ask for a more amazing man.

So many others have shown me great generosity this year. This being through the love and support they have shown. I can say that I am one of the wealthiest persons on this earth in terms of my friends and family.

Even with the advent of this summer, having recently lost my contract work position and having next to nothing in the bank, I have hope that things will turn out ok. I haven't the slightest clue about how I'll make it through the summer to the fall, but I do know that my friends and my boyfriend won't let me fall. I am so grateful for a generous, wonderful, safety net.

I do look forward to the fall, when I will be back in school (I place I love). I cannot wait to dive back into study. I truly relish learning, teaching, and being academically engaged.

update...finally

Ha, I was rereading some of my previous blog entries. Seems that while I moved out of the dead-zone that was Jamestown, NY, I feel like I haven't made all that much progress in my career. It's been almost a year since I was laid off and I have been on-and-off unemployment and I have been contracting with some major law firms. Generally speaking, I'm not unhappy. This has given me the opportunity to gain experience in new areas of law, which is excellent. I did not ever pass/retake the patent bar because while trying to recover from the mental lashings I used to get, I realized that I hate writing patents! I have taken a long time to think about what I really want to do and I think I've decided on teaching law...eventually.

So, in the past 8 months I have worked on a patent infringment suit, a trademark infringement suit and some general business litigation matters. I hate general business litigation. I really liked the trademark suit....a lot. The patent suit was interesting, but paled in comparison to the trademark case; perhaps, this was because the TM case was over sneakers! haha.

While my career is lackluster at the moment and while I've endured interviews & rejections for jobs (some I'm still waiting to hear about), I have had some great successes in other areas of my life. I've reconnected with a lot of old friends and I've made some new ones through the Women's Bar Association. More importantly, I've been simply and blissfully engulfed in a new relationship.

It's funny, never in my wildest and most imaginative musings would I have thought that I'd find a really wonderful man right here in Boston. I kept telling myself and my friends that I was going to have to move away again to find a good guy. I am happy to have been completely wrong. We've been together just over 7 months and, hands down, this is the easiest and most fulfilling & rewarding relationship I've ever been in. I couldn't have asked for a better man in my life.

Ok, that's all for now. More soon.

just a random note...

So i'm here in Delaware house sitting. it's nice and I've been to the Dogfish Head Brew House & Eatery. I was studying for the bar exam there (yes, another one) and enjoying my sampler of beers. After finishing my sampler, which was fabulous, the bartender decided I needed to try even MORE brews. Seriously, he just kept brinigng them over to me until I'd tried everything on tap. hahaha. I love it when things like that happen. Either today or Friday I will be going to the actual beer brewery for a tour and more tastings. :) mmmm.

Other than that, I should note that I was laid off from my job. Thta was the happiest day of my life---the day that granted me my freedom from the oppressive boss and horrible working conditions. I think I may be one of the few people who were just elated to have been laid off. :) Actually, i think this is going to open up some huge doors for me. I have several recruiters who are waiting to work with me....after I finish studying and passing this exam. They all think I'm big-name firm material. I guess i should have had a little more confidence in my abilities. I mean I really did kick ass in law school, but I guess I just never felt good enough. I have some fabulous experiences from my summer employment during law school, but still, I never thought I'd be good enough for the big firms. I guess it doesn't matter about the school name so much (which is what I thought mattered), but how you did in school and where you summered. Anyway, I am definitely hoping for the best. It's time for the cocoon to break and for me to fly away. :)

other than that, there's not too much to report. Maybe i will post again tonight after RMT gives her notice at that awful place of employment....the fall out shold be grand.

butterflies

So, it's been like 7 months since I law wrote. It seems almost impossible that it's been 7 months since I started my job. 7 months of adjusting to Jamestown. 7 months of dealing with an unstable and oppressive boss. These past months have been very difficult, though there have been some high points. I feel like in the past months I've matured beyond belief and learned so much about myself and while I'm definitely ready to move onto my next job, this part seems like it was necessary.

I feel as though coming here in August was the beginning of my 'cocoon phase.' I realized this was the phase I'm in just a few weeks ago. I was out in Erie, PA, taking (and failing) the patent bar. After I got my exam results I went to Barnes & Nobles for some retail therapy. While there, I decided it was time for a new journal. It was time to tell the truth about myself, the whole truth. While leafing through the journals I saw one with the following quote, "Just when the catterpillar thought he was dying, he became a beautiful butterfly." Then it hit me: I am the catterpillar; I am going deeper into my cocoon. I feel like the universe is speaking to me about this. Today at church, the priest was talking about how in life our world can come crashing down around us and we feel as though we have no control, but eventually, we have a ressurection (and how we don't need to physically die to be ressurected). Call it the cocoon, call it losing control, call it whatever you like----but these past 7 months have been all of that for me. I just hope that it time to emerge from my cocoon soon. I want to be the butterfly--I can't wait to see what color my wings will be.

where did my summer go?

It's been a while since I've last written. Well, I've graduated from law school, studied for and taken the bar exam. I've completely wasted my summer if I don't pass this flipping exam. In retrospect, I can honestly state that this studying for & taking the bar was the absolute worst thing to which I've ever subjected myself. Honestly, the schedule for my summer was as follows: wake up and roll out of bed for 9am class, after the 3, 4 or 5 hours of class gets out I went to the gym, then went home, showered & got lunch, then went to starbucks to study until around 10pm/11pm. Disgusting, if you ask me. There was a week of reprieve though; I went to Nichole & Josh's for Nic's bday. It was so much fun.

Anyway, all of that is behind me and I'm currently flipping out about my new job that I start in September. I am terribly frightened that I'm amazingly underqualified for this position. First, I don't have a strong enough science background. Second, I've learned next to nothing that I'll actually be doing at this job. So basically, they are paying me money to do something I'm not trained for and never have done in my life. Oh, not to mention...I never took Physics, yet I'm supposed to be able to understand Mechanical engineering. I have a sneaky suspicion that this will be a very steep learning curve for more than a year.

Ok so now the good news: I just was given the green light on this beautiful apartment that is part of a mansion. This was my first choice for an apartment and I'm quite excited. I think the best part is that the mansion's old library is part of the apartment. It's huge, it's all dark, hardwood and there are glass encased bookshelves around the perimeter of the room. Did I mention the huge floor-to-ceiling bay windows? Oh man I'm in love. Hopefully I'll be able to enjoy it more than I think i will...I have a feeling I'll be at work forever and never home.

Well, I'll write more later. I intend to get back into writing entries....maybe I'll even put this back up on my IM info. we'll see....if the public's lucky enough. ;)

Cheers.