butterflies

So, it's been like 7 months since I law wrote. It seems almost impossible that it's been 7 months since I started my job. 7 months of adjusting to Jamestown. 7 months of dealing with an unstable and oppressive boss. These past months have been very difficult, though there have been some high points. I feel like in the past months I've matured beyond belief and learned so much about myself and while I'm definitely ready to move onto my next job, this part seems like it was necessary.

I feel as though coming here in August was the beginning of my 'cocoon phase.' I realized this was the phase I'm in just a few weeks ago. I was out in Erie, PA, taking (and failing) the patent bar. After I got my exam results I went to Barnes & Nobles for some retail therapy. While there, I decided it was time for a new journal. It was time to tell the truth about myself, the whole truth. While leafing through the journals I saw one with the following quote, "Just when the catterpillar thought he was dying, he became a beautiful butterfly." Then it hit me: I am the catterpillar; I am going deeper into my cocoon. I feel like the universe is speaking to me about this. Today at church, the priest was talking about how in life our world can come crashing down around us and we feel as though we have no control, but eventually, we have a ressurection (and how we don't need to physically die to be ressurected). Call it the cocoon, call it losing control, call it whatever you like----but these past 7 months have been all of that for me. I just hope that it time to emerge from my cocoon soon. I want to be the butterfly--I can't wait to see what color my wings will be.